


My Muse Took Ninjitsu

by morwen_of_gondor



Series: O For A Muse Of Fire [2]
Category: Hornblower (TV), Hornblower - C. S. Forester, Star Wars Legends: Thrawn Trilogy - Timothy Zahn, Star Wars: Rebels, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Gen, Humor, Sort Of, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, this has the weirdest characters list I've ever written, weirdest fandoms list too for that matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27907954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morwen_of_gondor/pseuds/morwen_of_gondor
Summary: The saga of me and the ideas that my muse drops on my head from the ceiling at strange and inconvenient hours of the night.
Relationships: Maedhros | Maitimo & Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo, William Bush & Horatio Hornblower & Archie Kennedy, morwen_of_gondor & all her characters
Series: O For A Muse Of Fire [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060145
Comments: 20
Kudos: 19





	1. Maedhros And Thrawn Are Rude

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [All the World's A Stage](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679882) by [Wishfulthinking1979](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishfulthinking1979/pseuds/Wishfulthinking1979). 



> This is so weird I'm not even going to apologise for it. If any of you wonder about what's going on inside my head while I write, here it is!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maedhros and Thrawn show up to present me with _The General and the Grand Admiral_ (by which they mean distract me from writing _The War of the Ring)_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by _All The World's a Stage_ by Wishfulthinking1979. My characters wanted to come and talk to me too, so here you have the first instalment!

I am sitting at my computer trying to write _The War of the Ring_. Grand Admiral Thrawn appears next to my desk and starts looking over my shoulder. He’s very tall and it’s slightly disconcerting, even though I was mostly prepared for the glowing red eyes.

Me: "Not that I’m not happy to see you, Grand Admiral, but I am trying to write right now and I’m afraid you don’t feature in any of my stories at the moment."

Maedhros appears on my other side and looks at Thrawn. Then he turns to me and asks, "Who is this?"

Me: "Wait, how are you two doing this? You’re not from the same worlds. Maedhros, you need to stick around but Thrawn, you need to go back to Star Wars."

Maedhros (ignoring me and turning to Thrawn): "Ah! I know you. I heard of you when Morwen was reading _Heir to the Empire._ I must confess that I deeply admire your tactical abilities."

Thrawn: "And I have been hearing about you as Morwen tries to write. I assure you the admiration is mutual."

Me: "Hey!"

Thrawn: "You can hardly quarrel with my point. You are not actually writing anything."

Me: "Still. Rude. And Maedhros, you’re not helping."

Maedhros: "I would like to meet the Grand Admiral for a glass of wine someday. He and I have much to talk about."

Thrawn: "I concur."

Me: "All right, I agree that the two of you would get on well theoretically, but would both of you go back to your respective universes please? I don’t write crossovers and I really need to get that next chapter of WOTR ready to publish."

Maedhros and Thrawn, in unison: "No."

Me: "Gentlemen, that was not a request. Thrawn, get back into Star Wars. Maedhros, get over here and do your job."

Maedhros, climbing onto a convenient table in the pub somewhere in Middle-Earth that has now replaced my usual mental landscape: "No."

Thrawn, taking a pair of saucepans down from the wall: "No."

Maedhros and Thrawn, in unison, as Maedhros stamps on the table and Thrawn bangs the saucepans together: "Sto-ry! Sto-ry! Sto-ry!"

Me: "Get off the table! Both of you! Thrawn, I don’t know where you got those saucepans but you need to put them back! Maedhros, put my mind back to normal at once!"

Maedhros and Thrawn ignore me and continue chanting, stamping and clanging.

Me: "FINE! Fine. Have a crack crossover. Now WILL YOU GET OFF THAT DADGUM TABLE, or do I have to do something drastic?"

Maedhros climbs off the table. Thrawn sets down the saucepans. They bow to me and exit, leaving me with the first chapter of _The General and the Grand Admiral_ and absolutely no progress on WOTR. I sigh and begin to write TG&TGA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. Hope you enjoyed! Tell me either way -- if you had fun I'll be encouraged and if you didn't tell me how I could do it better.


	2. I Am Press-Ganged, Politely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His Majesty's Royal Navy makes an unexpected appearance in my brain.

I’m working through the outline of a project that I need to have ready for next week and a discreet cough catches my attention. I know the indications of a new character turning up, but this is really not the time. I keep working in hopes that whoever it is will go away. 

There is a rustle of fabric from behind me, and then silence. I turn to see if my visitor has taken my hint. It appears that he has not: there is a man dressed in the uniform of the Napoleonic-era British navy standing respectfully with his hat under his arm in the attitude of someone very used to waiting for people to notice him. Somehow this makes me feel slightly guilty. The uniform plus the patience plus the very blue eyes plus the book lying on my table give me a good guess at his identity. "Lieutenant Bush?" I ask.

Bush: "At your service, ma’am."

Me, under my breath: "Well at least this one has manners."

Bush looks very slightly curious but says nothing. 

Me: "I assume you're here with an idea for another story, Lieutenant."

Bush: "If it's convenient, ma'am."

I silently indicate the notes spread over my table and laptop screen.

Bush: "I see, ma'am."

He returns to standing at ease by my door.

Me: "...Well that's new."

Bush: "Ma'am?"

Me: "The last lot that were in here started banging pots and pans together and demanding I write for them."

Bush looks around, scandalised. "Shall I guard the door while you work, ma'am?"

Me: "Please. And thank you."

A pause ensues.

Me: "You might as well hand me that idea you've got."

Bush grins at me suddenly, looking absolutely thrilled at the prospect of me writing him in a story. _Oh, dear,_ I think. _I'll never be able to tell him no._

A few weeks later, I look around at my room, which has begun to bear a distinct resemblance to a naval wardroom as a result of the number of lieutenants in it. Hornblower is hovering at a discreet distance, torn between awkwardness and wanting to ask me about the inner workings of my computer. Archie Kennedy has no such reservations and is curiously inspecting my room and belongings, as he is the most recent arrival. Finally _he_ asks me about my computer to save Horatio the trouble of getting up enough steam to say something. Bush is still standing by the door (to his credit he chased off quite a few distractions while I was working on the presentation), but is looking much more relaxed and occasionally offers me a suggestion for future stories. 

_Well, evidently this is going to be my life now,_ I think as I open the document for _The First Variation. Because they're not going away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we see that there's more than one way to skin a cat...erm...persuade an author.


	3. I Am Attacked By A Cat And A Romance, In That Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Horatio Hornblower turns into a cat and I somehow end up writing romance.

I am sitting at my computer. Something meows behind me. I don’t own a cat. I turn around and see that there are two new characters in my head: modern-AU William Bush, and…a cat. With very very familiar brown eyes.

Me: "Is that...Horatio?"

Will: "Yes?"

*pause*

Me: "You know what…fine. This actually looks kind of fun. What the heck, I’ll write the two of you in something."

Horatio-the-cat: *declares that Will and AU-Barbara are His People now and he shall look after them, as they are humans and therefore bad at doing it themselves*

Me: "Ok, this is pretty cute. And Horatio, you are weirdly easy to write as a cat." *gives the side-eye to the human edition of Horatio, who is looking slightly awkward from his spot in the corner*

Horatio: *tries to set up his two humans for a date*

Me: "No. No no no no no. Not writing a romance."

Horatio: *hisses and runs his claws into my leg*

Me: "NO. I DO NOT WRITE ROMANCE."

Will: *gives me a sad face*

Barbara: *gives me a "do you really think you can stop me from doing what I want" face*

Me: *buries face in hands* "Fine, fine. I never had any control over this anyway, who was I kidding? Do what you like." *goes to get more tea*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yep. _A Cat's Job Is Never Done_ has officially been tagged as William Bush/Barbara Wellesley. Somebody help!

**Author's Note:**

> It's not beyond the realm of possibility that more chapters will be added to this work in the future. However, so that nobody winds up waiting for an update that doesn't come, I'm marking this complete, as right now I don't have any further ideas that want to be written.


End file.
